freedom wall

i was chatting with a friend yesterday (may 18,2010) when he asked me this: "kamusta love life?" i answered, "zero" - so i am single, no strings attached. and he naughtily told me, "dapat kahit 10% meron" and i told him this: "lovelife ko ang sarili ko, pamilya ko, friends, school at si God". on second thoughts, i reflected on what i've answered him. was it really me who said that? whoa! nakaka gulat.

you see, i've realized something here. Girls & boys don't need to be attached or to be with someone else as early as they want to. to the people at my age, time will come for us. sooner or later,we'll have our own happily ever afters. older people would tell us na, "bata pa tayo". at some point, tama din sila. we're bata pa until we're mature na. ewan ko kung kelan o anong edad ka nagiging mature but you see, it just comes out. it just happens.

maybe i am also telling this kasi this was something i have learned from my experience. this was something i've realized. i've been hurt. my heart was broken into pieces. i've had those sleepless nights. i've had made drama scenes infront of my friends, but see.. it took me a while to learn. it took me almost a year to regain what was lost. it took me a while to reach my own hand and stand up and fight for my right. i also learned that it's not only me who'll help myself in standing up after my fall. people come and go. friends may always be there to fill you in and to help you, to give extra care, to show their efforts.. but it is still yourself who'll understand.

praying to God everything i've been through also helped me. it's fascinating that God gives me "instasnt"
answers. tipong kakadasal ko lang kanina, may sagot na kinabukasan.
gosh. is this really me who's talking? well, if this is an evidence that im getting mature na sa ibang bagay - bagay, then.. congratulations for me!

by the way, i would like to thank the person who chose not to stay with me. to you who gave up on me. you know who you are. thanks for making me realize these stuffs. i've been blinded by your love for years and i am kinda stupid not to see the real beauty and the real love life around me. i was prisoner in our world.



with these reflections, i've realized these:

1. love is not the only reason why people choose to stay or not. (a line from Miss You Like Crazy)

2. i've moved on and i am moving forward. (the kilig factor will still be there. but i don't know until when will it last. pero hanggang dun na lang yon. hanggang kilig. hanggang crush, parang high school)

3. in these way, i can say that i have achieved my own version of happily ever after.