Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Unreachable

Posted by Nikka Cosme at 5/08/2012 07:56:00 PM



                This entry could have loads of title!!! I thought of “Side B” (‘coz you’ll be reading the other side’s story and not the typical one. I mean, hindi yung legal character involved yung maririnigan niyo ng salita… kung hindi yung 3rd party), “the other woman” (kaya lang this one sounds predictable and note really catchy), “the mistress” (same reason as the last one). Pero I decided to use the “unreachable” since it is quite interesting (for me) and it suits the situation anyway. (btw,I would like to thank my friend for lending me this coined term - The Unreachable Star).

So what happens when you got to meet someone who is unreachable? You may consider that person as the best thing you never had or a dream that is way too far from reality. He is like a Walt Disney prince and you’re like the Walt Disney princess who believes that someday your prince will come and rescue from your room which is located at the tower or maybe, you are also waiting for your prince to wake you up from your nightmare or deep slumber with his sweet kiss. But what happens when that unreachable person becomes your center of life? What if your world suddenly starts to be invaded by his presence? What happens now if he turns out to be your ideal man but never a true love except that he brings out the best and worst in you?

I have met two ladies who both have their own unreachable persons. What they have in common is the fact that their unreachable person has their own commitments in life. The other guy is a college student who is in a 1 year relationship and the other is a married man, currently employed, but has no child yet. Later, you will know why these boys were considered unreachable.


STORY 1. COLLEGE STUDENT

                “He is an ex. He is a friend. He was my first love and heartbreak. He is my savior. Every moment that I am with him is exciting because we do have both things in common. In fact, he is also my kababata. I feel safe and secured whenever he is around because from the very start, I’ve always believe that I got his back, no matter what.” Says Lady 1.

                Their friendship was an on-off relationship. After they broke up more 7 years ago, they separated ways for a very long time. 2 years ago, their lives crossed again and their friendship just got better and deeper. They have learned so much in life and they’re more mature and wiser now. Kapag nakikita silang magkasama, laging nalalagyan ng malisya. “I don’t know if what’s with us. It’s as if there is chemistry in our faces or the way we behave.” She said.

                According to her, mas naging madalas pa silang magkasama. Sabay pumapasok, sabay rin umuuwi. This became almost a routine to them. And it started to feel normal for both parties not realizing that someone, at their back, an innocent girlfriend is being hurt.

                “I’ve been in her shoes. I became a victim. I think I do this because of sweet revenge. He was my first heartbreak, and there was a party involved. I started to have issues when it comes to trusting boys. He is one of the reasons why! I have forgiven him but the issue remains. He was not the only guy who cheated on me though. I know he has a girlfriend whom he doesn’t want or love anymore. He can’t call it off yet because of his ego. Other people know our stories. But none of them know what really goes inside our head. Others may think or see me as the other woman… but I don’t give a damn ‘coz they have no idea what happened, why I act differently… pero mas hindi nila alam how I really became the person I don’t want to be. Nobody knows!” She said.

I have known this lady for a long time. There was so much hurt and pain before and she chose to forgive all the people who pulled her six feet down under. It was her choice to be like that and her actions are not just out of nothing. There are reasons. When she took the risk of having good terms with this guy, she started to learn and understand the battle of being the mistress. The reason why she became one could be considered as a learning experience for her to see their sides and hear their cries as well. Maybe, if she didn’t took the risk, hanggang ngayon, hindi pa rin niya maiintindihan kung bakit nagagawa pa rin yun ng ibang tao. Siguro, hanggang ngayon, huhusgahan pa rin niya yung mga taong naka sakit sa kanya. Pero naisip niya rin… kinailangan ba talaga na siya mismo ang maging ‘the other woman’ kung pwede nya naman maintindihan yun in some other ways.

Kung pwede lang talaga sila, kung matino lang si lalaki at handa na ulit pumasok sa bagong relasyon yung babae, walang duda na babalikan niya ito. Walang pag-aalinlangan niyang kakapalan ang kanyang mukha para makipagbalikan at makipag ayos. Walang duda, magiging masaya silang dalawa. Walang pagaalinlangan niyang mamahalin ng wagas yung lalaki. “I must not forget that I’ve been hurt for several times. This serves as a payback but to take revenge is not really my plan or agenda. What I want from him is companionship and the joy he brings to me… whether it’s good or not.”
She considered him as his unreachable one because of their situation. They can’t be together. They are cousins in third degree. It’s incest, if they will push themselves. It’s not really happening. That’s why their story will remain a dream… something that is way too far to reality.


STORY 2. MARRIED MAN
                “I’ve always wanted to have a kuya until I happen to meet this guy. He is 25 years old and happily married with his best friend. I met him online, so yeah… he is a stranger to me. I was doing my routine in this site and suddenly, everything changed. He commented, I replied. He got my number, I got myself a load. I stay up late talking to him though he is not really the reason behind my sleepless nights. I get kilig most of the time, I think? I see him as my older brother but I can’t help to think that he could be my unreachable one. I don’t have any intentions to make him confuse with his emotions thinking that he is married! Kuya lang naman ang hanap ko pero para kaming magkarelasyon na nag-aaway. Minsan pa, pinapagalitan niya ko.”
                Seriously, I’ve known this girl for so long and yeah, since this man came there were changes… pero konti lang naman like, she gave her number to a stranger, she load up her phone for a week (but this isn’t her main reason), one time when her battery was getting low she was panicking and she keeps on checking her phone if he texted already! Hahaha. For a naughty, supportive and understanding friend like me (ok ang yabang ko naman pakinggan), I find it fun cause it’s something new! Haha. It’s not so her kasi that’s why I had fun looking at her. She wears this genuine smile and the kilig was sort of all over her body!
                Also, I noticed that this guy, he kinda brings out the best and the worst of my friend. Well, my friend is a mataray one. Her pride is precious and 3 days na ata yung pinakamatagal niyang pagkakaroon ng crush.
                “I don’t want to fall but I’m…” he said.
Cold conversations followed.
                “Wala na kong pride. Wala na kong privacy! Haha. Pati blog ko, bantay sarado” she said.
                He is considered unreachable because he is married and yeah, he is my ideal man. He is smart, may sense kausap. “kuya” in some ways… pero hindi na dapat magtagal yung ganito.
                He is married.
                He is married.
                Kuya lang naman ang hanap ko.
                Kuya lang.
                “Siya yung unreachable ko” she said.


--
                As you read this, you might think that these girls are mistress. The girl from story 1, yes she is. But I understand now more why there are girls happen to be one or be mistaken as the other woman. It’s on how they act around whenever they are together, whether it is in a private place or not. The girl from story 2, she just was just a girl seeking for friendship and an older brother! It just happened that she met him and unfortunately, he is married. She has no intentions. She knows her limits. Their relationship will remain in World Wide Web.
                My blame for this kind of girls has lessened. My reason includes love, sweet revenge, or needing someone to lean on and for companion or friendship but turns out to be a could-have-been type of a person. But, for the boys, I still doubt them especially now that I have learned their moves and I’ve seen it right in front of my brown eyes. My trust issues just got bigger kahit na alam ko naman na nagiging dahilan rin ako kung bakit may ganoong lalaki.
                It’s not too late for these girls to change what they’ve started. They’re willing to change, in time – kapag handa na sila. It still hard for them to let go of this kasi it became a part of their routine in some ways.
                See, there are reasons. So why be so judgmental when there are ways on how to hear the other side of the tape?

 

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Nikka Cosme
Las Pinas City, Manila, Philippines
I PROTECT the environment, I SERVE for my country and its people (but not the government), I LEAD the youth and I FOLLOW God. And by the way, Apple is just a pen name ;)
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